Wednesday, July 12, 2006
8:17 PM
okay. so here's yesterday's post.
was supposed to stayback in school with amanda and jian huan.
but i was kinda left alone.
im never ever trusting jian huan with such stuff again.
i mean. it takes me a long time to trust people. (i dont know what you think. but thisis what i think)
and even those close friends i have. i dont even trust them COMPLETELY.
yah. so jian huan wanted to go and watch the duno what play thing.
let me tell you this.
you just go and dont come back.
you'll make it worse if you come back.
and i wont deny that im irritated with you.
if you come back, i will show you my irritation, frustration, and anger.
so too bad.
and you're dumb.
the art you dont want to go down and draw.
then how are you supposed to draw?
you havent even started lah.
and you said you want to draw from the canteen.
ridduculous.
just because you want to see her.
you want to see, just say.
she keeps strutting in front of you anyway.
so i went and sat with mindy and rowena, and we had ice cream.
and i sorta helped them out with their timeline.
while i finished my gong han, and then went down to do my art alone.
cause amanda had erm. some council that ended at 5.
so yah. all the npcc people there and all the 2d people there.
i felt so out of place.
i always do.
even with lijie and some people.
i find that my primary school friends are the best.
like mindy, rowena, sharmaine tan, and geneieve. we were from the same p6 class.
and jillian and charlene. from different classes.
suddenly, melissa liu seems so popular with michelle wee's group.
puzzling.
yup.
so i got abandoned.
and when i got home. i was like so angry and all.
anyway. im used to being abandoned.
like today.
maths trail. dumb of me to group with an all swimmers except me group.
cause they happily went for nationals.
and left me alone.
so i joined angeline's group.
i felt out of place again.
sherilyn's an ass. she's mean, and bossy and. urgh.
she keeps bullying us and all.
never help out then keep calling us to hurry.
then we gotta wait for her to move as a group cause we were all running and she was walking.
although all of these stuff she did jokingly, i knew its just a cover up.
and to think we won 2nd prize.
and she got a share of it.
and even if she was really joking, i dont like it.
im not a person who can take all kinds of jokes.
so anyway. we got 2nd.
i got second last year too.
they gave us minitoons voucher. $10.
well they gave us only 3 vouchers.
so we split it.
some took cash, some took vouchers.
and i was like sitting all alone in the bus and all.
i was so dreading maths trail.
so lonely.
athough i did help with the calculations and mesurements.
but its like.
haiz. whatever.
i've always felt left out.
its been like that for a long time.
but i havent got used to it.
that explains why i want to come home.
okay. i've got to start studying. or i wont be in top 10 or something.
but i guess i wont be studying.
i spend all my spare time reading storybooks.
my like feels empty. even though i laugh and seem happy and all that shit.
grace thinks i should see a Psychiatrist.
i duno. all my dreams are dark and all.
while grace says hers are like white and hazy.
i duno. i though all dreams were like mine.
weird, impossible, and dark.
and im weird i know.
the dreams have been taking a toll on me recently.
and i think grace is angry with me or something.
we seem like strangers.
i dont feel like having tuition tomorrow.
Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady