Thursday, August 10, 2006

9:29 PM

i just woke up from my "sleep"
i couldnt really sleep.
i just pretended to so they would leave me alone.
its like this in my family.
when im about to get scolding, i go to bed, and they leave me alone.
when i want to avoid them, i go to sleep also.


and then i woke up then i get scolding again.
cause tomorrow i have trainnig.
like is that my fault?
then my dad is like
"WHY NOW TRAININGS 4 TIMES A WEEK!? I WANNA COMPLAIN TO MR LIM. I WANNA COMPLAIN TO YOUR PRINCIPAL"
"then im like wednesday no training what"
(I Try to listen to the dumb maths video)
"NO, THEN WHY TRAINING FOUR TIMES A WEEK?!!!!!"
"IM TALKING TO YOU!!!!"
"CAUSE WEDNESDAY GOT NO TRAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


then my mum was like
"WHY MUST SHOUT SO LOUD?!!TALK TO YOU ALSO CANNOT HAR!!??"
"IM VERY FRUSTRATED WITH YOU ALL. I KEEP SAYING AND IM TRYING TO LISTEN TO THIS MATHS VIDEO AND THEN YOU ALL KEEP TALKING SO LOUDLY."
then he said
"THEN YOU CANNOT TELL US YOU DOING SOMETHING HAR!!"
you are blind. its so obvious im doing something.
i cant stand it.
and i still like got what.
4 more years before i reach 18.
and its like.
i dont think i can move out at 18 either.


"LAST TIME WE TALK LIKE THAT WE GET THROWN OUT OF THE HOUSE ALREADY BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH."
last time no car no mrt no phone, does it mean that now also dont have?
times change.
things change.
why dont you 2 just go live in the past.
go build your own kampong. dont use phone, dont take mrt, dont take car.


then for nothing my mum just come and scold me
"WANT TO BUY THAT MEANS WANT TO BUY. I WALK WHOLE DAY MY LEG SO PAIN, BUY SUSHI FOR YOUR FRIEND, BUY TICKET FOR YOU, STILL TREAT ME LIKE THAT. YOU WILL HAVE RETRIBUTION ONE I TELL YOU. I WANT TO SEE NEXT TIME HOW YOUR CHILDREN TREAT YOU"
this is like her standard line.
well maybe she already has her retribution.
cause to her, we treat her so badly, and her leg hurts and all.
you know why, cause she's shopping for her clothes and stuff.
and she cant shop for mine.


and not like we dont help or what.
i already help her carry the stuff, do housework and stuff.
what more you want?
you want me to build a villa for you issit?



i seriously cant stand this life.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady

7:06 PM

it was disasterous.


she got the tickets.
2 row.
from the front.
my neck aches.
and she made me bring this idiot thing from hom for her cause she didnt wanna carry it.
what makes you think i wanna carry it?


then walked around.
and amanda's friend is irritating.
and ugly girls get ugly boyfriends.
and i saw cargo pants, and alot of clothes i wanted.
and my mum said she'll go see it with me later.
but then, she comes with one whole load of stuff from carrfour and says we gotta go home.
so she pushes the trolley outside long john silvers and make me and amanda sit there to look after her stuff while she goes shopping.


embarassing.
then she brings sushi for amanda to eat.
i refused to eat cause it was so embarassing.
and amanda ate so fast.
i think cause she couldnt wait to get out of there.
and my mum says "see she like it so much but you dont let her eat."
and i remember amanda saying "i dont like!! i only like the crabstick!!"
right. everything is i dont let them eat.
everything is i dont let them talk to her and i dont let her talk to them.


im going to some ulu place thats not plaza sing next time where i can be followed.
my mum is irritating.
she tags along like some suckerfish.


and i dont care if she complains to my dad.
im going to get my own clothes and stuff next time.
and i dont care about her.
and they borrowed like 1 or 2 thousand from me.?
to invest in duno what shit.
they took it from my drawer and i bet they took more from my bank.
im so fed up.
i wanna get a lock on my room.
so i can lock it when i go out.
cause my mum always searches my stuff for duno what.
then all my clips and earings and money and stuff get messed up.


she makes empty promises.
i cant stand her.
she deprives me of happiness.
then on the way back.
the bread drops on the floor and she looks at me likes its my fault.


i dont care about you ok. scold me and embarass me in front of public if you want.
im used to it already.
im going to embarass you infront of your friends next time.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady

10:41 AM

so i woke up at 8.45 this morning beacause i duno what mum was talking about.
talk so loud.
plus the radio blasting.
so i shut the door and pretended to go back to sleep.
but i went and did my maths homework.


and i finished it in half an hour's time.
and i realise that i forgot how to round of to 3 decimal plades.
and i dare'nt ask my tuition teacher how to do it.
cause shei'll scream i bet.
i'll just as khuiting or lijie of someother people in school tomorrow.
and my answers, i dont think they're correct.
i duno pie is 3.124, 22/7, or the pie in the calculator.
anyway. i just did 3.142


and i redrew all the circles cause the circles i drew were freehand, and oval shaped.
then i went out at 9.15
watched tv.
watched fun song factory.
hrmph.
fun song factory more matured and the songs not so original.
something like hi 5.
but they have more mascots.
then i ate coco crunch.
then after my mum left for the clinic, i went to eat my lunch.
pasta.
i went to add cheese, and butter, and mustard and mayonese.
and baconbits.
i duno why.
im just waiting for my diarroeah to come.

im going to meet amanda at plaza sing later.
to watch lake house.
and mum's gonna sign my ticket.
and i'll bet there'll be trouble.
but nvm.
i think they're used to it now.
i just wanna watch the show.


i wanted to go j8.
but then mum said only golden village.
then i thought j8 wasnt golden village.
so i told her it wasnt.
and then i'll be stuck in plaza sing later.
hrmph.
but its like i just went there that day, and went into almost all the shops.


you know what? im not angry with her. althought i hate her and want to blend her guts and let it rot.
im angry with ou.
cause you started it, and let me take the blame when i did nothing.
good luck to you. i'll see how ling more this can last.
cause you've just lost a freind.
and whatever im treating you now, will be fake.
you that that if i smile to you, i'll be wanting to knife out your guts.
if i glare at you, i'll also be wanting to knife out yourguts.
so best of luck,
LEECH.


Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady