Tuesday, November 07, 2006

9:48 PM

so here are my christmas resolutions.
dont say there are no christmas resolutions cause i am going to make them

1)get some studying done.
study at least 3 chapters for every subject that im going to take next year?

2)slim down

3)get more chirstmas presents?

okay, i kinda ran out of ideas already.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady

9:34 PM

okay. my head was buzzing just now.
but its okay now.

and i hope everything will work out.
though im kinda sick of being so unimportant.
i mean im sick of being the "she'll always be there" for some people.
i really am.
i wana be the first person who pops into your head kinda thing.
and not be used and stufff.

but i guess its kinda okay.
okay, not really.
but im so used to it already/
and i dont think im gonna do anything about it.
right now im thinkging:
look, i'll be there if you need me.
i'll answer if you call.
but if not, i wont call.
and, you're not there when i needed you,
and im not best.
im just good.
and i cant be your only one.
im one of the millions.
and you always wanna do something we were supposed to do together with someone else.
im thinking that you're using me.
using my ideas, using my words.

okay. but i let people use me.
so i guess i shouldnt have to complain.

and i guess nobody will be there for me.
and i dont think i can count on anyone.
-thats why i dont.
i duno why.
but i eel that i can only count on myself.

okay.
there are a few things people shouldnt say to me
1) chill/relax/lax (anything that means the same thing)
2) beauty is in the eye of the beholder
3)i'll be there for you
4)you still have me.

DONT EVER SAY NO. 3 TO ME.
CAUSE YOU CANT BE THERE FOR ME.
I KNOW SO.

the words"havent you heard im gonna be okay" on jillian' blog sound comforting.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady

9:26 PM

okay. my head was buzzing just now.
but its okay now.

and i hope everything will work out.
though im kinda sick of being so unimportant.
i mean im sick of being the "she'll always be there" for some people.
i really am.
i wana be the first person who pops into your head kinda thing.
and not be used and stufff.

but i guess its kinda okay.
okay, not really.
but im so used to it already/
and i dont think im gonna do anything about it.
right now im thinkging:
look, i'll be there if you need me.
i'll answer if you call.
but if not, i wont call.
and, you're not there when i needed you,
and im not best.
im just good.
and i cant be your only one.
im one of the millions.
and you always wanna do something we were supposed to do together with someone else.
im thinking that you're using me.
using my ideas, using my words.

okay. but i let people use me.
so i guess i shouldnt have to complain.

and i guess nobody will be there for me.
and i dont think i can count on anyone.
-thats why i dont.
i duno why.
but i eel that i can only count on myself.

okay.
there are a few things people shouldnt say to me
1) chill/relax/lax (anything that means the same thing)
2) beauty is in the eye of the beholder
3)i'll be there for you
4)you still have me.

DONT EVER SAY NO. 3 TO ME.
CAUSE YOU CANT BE THERE FOR ME.
I KNOW SO.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady

5:19 PM

okay.
you've done it again.
i cant trust you.
i feel so insecure.
just go, okay.
and i'll do it on my own.
i always do.

okay. i guess i'll just have to stick with that bloody flipping cca.
i always do.

so i got scolded for opening the fridge.
and theres this dumb person trumpetting/trumboning whatever
outside.
and he keeps it up everyday.
and its so annoying.
my eyes hurt cause of the lack of sleep
because
1)mum talks loudly
2)mum makes noise
3)mum pulls away my blanket thus waking me up
4)dumb trumpeting man.

okay.
my life is like that anyway.
so i'll just bear it.
im tired. and i just woke up from a nap.
thanks to the trumpetting man.
and guess what,.
my lovable darling sister spoilt the printer again.
brilliant.
did i mention that it was she who spoiled the printer, scanner and the computer last time?
and now she comes and spoils the new com.
great.

okay. i'd rather live in mixed dreamland.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady