Saturday, November 11, 2006

11:20 PM

you know what.
it seems to me that you still dont bother.
so i'll try not to either.

im very tired.
and i guess im gonna lose more sleep tonight.
but i dont think its gonna be over you.
i guess i ot over it a couple of weeks ago already.
and who even said that i forgave you?

sorry isnt good eough for me.
if i bump into peole or what.
or if its a physical accident.
sorry's good.
but then when its done.
sorry wont help
its just a word.
liek all the other hundreds of words in this post.
sorry, is just a word
it dosent mean anything.

and people, im not talking about bgr relationships.
none of my posts are.
so stop hallucinating okay.
pull on the reins of your imagination.

im just gonna do normal.

and you know what.
i really wanna be in the same class as lijie and melissa liu.
odd pair i know.
wait.
maybe not
i duno.
i dont wanna be in the same class as anyone.
can i stat out in a new class where everybody didnt know each other?
i guess, thats too much to ask.
and i guess.
im afraid.
im afraid that i'll meet bad people.
and people whom i'll fall out with.
im afraid i'll piss the people close to me away.
im afraid too muh dosage of me isnt good
im afriad too much dosage of them isnt good.
im afraid i'll be left out.
im afraid i cant catch up
im afraid i cant do well no matter how hard i try.

but the thing about me is.
i wont feel so diasppointed if i dont study and get lousy results.
cause i've only got MYSELF to blame.
who else can i blame?

what im afraid is.
when i study and dont get good results.
i feel disappointed then.

im the typical what if person.
dont try to stop me.

and i did some work last night.
thought i didnt know what i was doing.
and i dont know how to get the answer and work them out.
and the text books have alot of crap.
talk about educating us through books about the enviroment.
hurh.
talking about classes.

i dont wanna be in the same class as
MADELINE LOVE
AND IGGY
AND DEREK
AND DORO
AND I DUNO WHICH OTHER IRRITATING PEOPLE.
next year for cathecism.
and i dont want a teacher that picks on me.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady

10:02 PM

i wanna watch hairspray and eragon.

and isetan's having pierre cardin sale.
damn
i was a fool to tell mum that i dont wanna go isetan again so soon.
but luckily she didnt go today also.

i lost sleep again.
the last time i looked at the time was 3.33am.

and i managed to sleep late today.
mum bugged me to go swimming.
i dont like swimming with you.
im tired.
and 7.30 in the morning is too early.
and i dont like that pool.
the water makes me feel heavy, and its small, and it tastes funny.

and mum caught me studying last night.
apparently i was wrong. i thought her eyes would be glues to the tv.
but she came in and..

"what you doing. maths?"(in a hopeful tone)
"no."
"THen what You DOIng?!"(kinda pissed)
"physics."
"good girl." and she left giving me 2 pats on the back.
pats pets?
which one?
aiyah you decide.

so yah.
apparently
reading book on bed = lazing about whole morning
reading bookon table = no complains.same for reading on sofa
doing stuff on the table = work

and wait. i've got loads more equations. but i forgot.
i thought of them while mum was scolding me.
i just daze.
and she dosen even know im not listening.
but when she asks what she say, i can answer.
some people just cant multitask.
i can give you 2 people/
1)my mum.
2)my sis.
3)amanda. (she almost got knocked down by a car by trying to concentrate crossing the road, and talking on her phone)
4)grace
and guess theres loads of people out there.

i seriously hate copy cats.
what copy cats.
bug off. please.
go find your own source of inspiration
im gonna blow soon if you keep this up.

i bet you'll be wanting to do that now dont ya?
after i did it.
and you saw or i duno how you know i did it.

and im in a patch of bad luck.
the stuff i want are like out of stock or not selling any more.
1)eye lock room guard
2)fox skirt
3)snk belt.
and i bet theres more.

okay. i dreamt of last night
the dream was funny.
well, not that funny.
not funny as in laughing
funny as in weird.
maybe not.its just so unexpected?
but i was glad that at least i dreamt.
and managed to sleep.

i like plain noodles and pasta.
they taste nice.

i used to be straightforward.
very.
but what happened to me?
i guess i just cared enough for some people to not be so direct in their faces.
but hell,
only the true friends will tell you the truth.
and i seriously wonder why i bother.

and i didnt know you associated with her.
i thought you hated her,
all the stuff you told me.
and man, i'll never believe you again.


and i guess you'll be going off with other people.
maybe more popular.
to do what you were supposed to do with me.
great.
you now what.
i'll just make sure that i do what i wanna do, and get it done.
WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.

why must you do this to me.
it really makes me feel sad and all.

AND people,
theres a reason for my actions.
so when im being mean or whatever.
think.
just think.


Fireman TOM & the Cranola Lady